Chapter 9
A Tribute


In less than 24 hours I will be completely without a thyroid forever. So, in honor of our last day together, I have written a poem to commemorate that butterfly shaped organ.

Ode to My Thyroid

You, Oh Thyroid, who soaked up all my iodine
who made me crave scallops in the middle of the night
I will miss you

You, ruler of my metabolism
who kept me chubby all those years in elementary school
I thank you

You, hero of the endocrine system
who though under-appreciated works night and day
I applaud you

You, Oh glob of cells in my neck
I never even knew you
goodbye, dear thyroid, goodbye

Note to readers: it really isn't a big deal to be without a thyroid (you just take pills to replace the hormone), for comedic value I am being COMPLETELY overdramatic. Just thought it was worth mentioning. I don't want to hurt any thyroid's feelings, but it's not like I'm losing a lung or anthing....

My surgery is scheduled for 9am monday morning. I'll check back in later in the week..Bye!